the one about dating...

So maybe I wasn’t completely correct about ( I never gave ya’ll a name of said person I was talking to so I’ll call them Cap) Cap . Take what I say with a grain of salt. I really enjoyed the months of I guess it would be called dating, talking - whatever the kids call it. But in the back of my mind, I would constantly ask myself is this enough for me. Obviously a red flag that I chose to ignore. For once I had someone who held space for me, like actually gave me room to talk to them when I was ready but not just that. They listened. I know right, the bare fucking minimum but like even that’s so hard to come by so I really clung to this. Since I’m already on the topics of red flags I guess I should mention they were having dreams about their ex. Understanding this ex was no longer in their lives, blocked by all means and not someone they missed was assuring enough for me to try to ignore it. But like why are you not dreaming about me instead LOL? I noticed a pattern of how these dreams or nightmares rather took a lot of space in their mind. And I could imagine how emotionally exhausting it is to have someone who is no longer in your life, to STILL be such a nuisance. In the mix of all this we still haven’t met because they’re occupied with this thing called life, and I’m saving for an important trip. Now one would think that because we aren’t able to meet just yet that our communication would be strong right? FUCKING WRONG. We barely texted throughout the day (they were busy at work), the facetimes pretty much stopped being every weekend. At this point I find myself being once again disappointed. I may have fell for their potential but like why even bother showing me what you’re capable of and then fall through. Back to the first red flag I chose to ignore, I now feel like this dating thing we’re doing isn’t enough for me at all. And honestly if you’re not making my life better why keep you around? So here’s my dilemma, do I say that I don’t want to do this anymore because it’s not like we’re talking much anyways or do I just let things be?

I can’t say this is my worse dating experience because I know MANY terrible men but like I rather cut my losses early and move on to the next. Nevertheless dating is quite beautiful and rather disappointing. I don’t want to have explain to anyone else about how I’m a triple fire sign who doesn’t know what peace and true stability looks like; still here I am, back on hinge to waste my time some more.